Many people think that if you call 911 they will be there to help you no matter what. As I have learned from my own experiences that is not the case most of the time when it comes to domestic violence. I believe that a lot of disbelief, thanks to the women who have cried wolf too many times, has discredited a woman’s statement in terms of domestic assault if there is no visible evidence when law enforcement arrives. Do not make the mistake I did in thinking that there is no help once an officer decides not to press charges to help you avoid being taken away because your spouse is vindictive and will likely in turn press charges against you.
The absolute first thing to do in this situation is get yourself taken care of at a local hospital or clinic which specializes in domestic assault injuries. Once you have been photographed and examined for further damage, go to the police station and request to speak to the officer(s) who were on duty during the time of the call. They can then advise you as whether or not it will be investigated further and if anything will come to be as a result. If that doesn’t work, go see a lawyer for a free consultation, if there are any that offer that these days, and they will advise you as to what steps to take in terms of taking legal action.
If you feel that you are in danger and need to leave before matters get worse, contact your local shelter and see what assistance can be provided to help you and your loved ones get to safety if you fear that he will find you at a known location. It is always a good idea to prepare and pack any saved money, important documents, clothing, and other personal belongings for yourself and anyone else who is leaving with you and store it at a trusted friend or family member’s home. This way when you need to leave quickly you don’t have to worry about things you will need till you can collect your personal belongings. If you are afraid to collect your belongings you can request police assistance for your safety. They will stand by as you gather your belongings and make sure that no one gets out of line.
Don’t dwell on materialistic items once you leave the home as they can be replaced. If it is a matrimonial home, you are entitled to half of the jointly accumulated assets and if anything is sold without your consent, and you can prove the item existed prior to leaving the home, the other person will be held accountable for their actions. If you get a lawyer, they will tell you the same thing and even assist you in making sure that you get what is rightfully yours. Now if you haven’t considered this already depending on how traumatic the situation was/is, you may want to ask your lawyer if you would be successful in suing the other person for the life long damages that they may have caused whether it be physical or mental. However, sometimes there is injustice in cases involving domestic abuse and that is okay because it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Always explore your legal options regardless.
Now don’t get me wrong, not everything will go over smooth. If the other person is good at manipulating people and in denial of ever hurting you, they will fight back and attempt to prove you to be a liar despite the evidence that you have obtained against them. The best thing you can do is not panic and have trust in your lawyer to handle their attempts at dodging any justice that may be served. This way you are not allowing that person to have any control over you anymore. Stay strong and don’t back down unless you have exhausted all resources and are free from any further abuse from this person. You deserve to live an abuse-free life and don’t ever allow anyone to treat you any different.
Another important step you should take is seek out counseling that is offered to abused women/men, and children who have witnessed abuse and/or experienced it themselves. Do not feel ashamed of what happened to you. You didn’t deserve it and you need to talk to someone about it who has the training necessary to assist you and your family with what you have experienced. I can not stress to you how vital it is to talk to a professional about what you went through. They can help you find coping methods if you have anxiety and panic attacks as a result of what has happened. They can assist your children in understanding that what happened wasn’t right and they didn’t deserve to witness or experience anything themselves. By getting the help you are admitting to yourself in a sense that you were a victim and now you are learning to get past that point in your life. You are going to feel a bit of relief once you’ve done this, and/or your child(ren) now can move forward as well and know the difference with what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to relationships. There is no greater feeling than moving past something that once held you in a dark place.
